Monday, August 4, 2014

"The Look": 1 reason why I wish my kids did NOT have autism

Yep, you heard me. Some days I wish autism was not a part of our household. Don't get me wrong, I believe their autism is something that adds personality and uniqueness to the individuals they are. I wouldn't have it any other way. If I had a magic wand, I would never think to remove their autism. I love them just how they are. No, I would wish for something simple. A vacation, a LONG bath, enjoy a whole cup of coffee before it gets cold, watch a Netflix marathon...nope, nothing big. What mom wouldn't?

Some days I envy parents of neuro-typical children though.  I wish I could just simply do the task of parenting, like my parents did. No IEP's, no reinforcers, no pre-planning everything, no schedules, etc. But their is one thing I am particularly envious of - "The Look!"

I wish I could just give that one facial expression to display my lack of approval - "The look"! Yeah, you know the one. The one your mom or dad gave you when you were growing up and you thought, "Holy #$%, I'm in trouble now!!" (and believe me, that happened a lot!). Taking an extra piece of cake? - BAM! "The Look!". Messy room? - BAM! "The Look!". Yep, I bet that was a much easier correctional tactic, no reinforcement required, and probably felt pretty good just to give that one glare, and I KNEW what it meant.

Now, let's see what that looks like in my household with my kiddos (evil laughter inserted here). Yeah, you go ahead "Nugget". Try and take that extra piece of cake, cause you know what's coming - "The look"! Can you feel that? Nope, nothing. He wasn't even looking at me to see if I approved or not (note to self: add IEP goal to work on perspective-taking). OK, let's try you, "Bear" (in addition to having autism, "Bear" also has ODD so some days he is a real "Grizzly"). "The Look" should really work on him, I am thinking. "You better pick up your room. It's a huge mess!" (extra emphasis added by utilizing "the look"). Silence, more silence... Then "Bear" finally adds (with sarcastic tone), "How can I pick up my room? Do you think I am Super Man (door slams). I sink to my knees. Wait a minute ...... he didn't just... oh yes, he did. My son just give ME the look?

 Defeated, I realize I may never know the joy of giving a glare and having someone wince by just that one facial expression. The one look that will immediately make anyone correct themselves due to my glare of disapproval. Oh, but wait, hubby is home, and why is he watching TV instead of working on that "honey-do" list? I rise up, hands on hips and confidently stride into the living room.......Victory is mine!!!